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The Compassionate Friends
Brisbane Newsletter
October November 2007

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Peace at Last
by Kathie Winkler, Middleburg Heights, Ohio,
bereavementresources.com. Bereavement Mag March/April, 2004

Sweetly I think of you
With love, everyday.
Tenderly I dream of you
And what I'd like to say.

I know that you are with me
Even though your life has passed.
You walk with me, comfort me
And let me know at last.

Your life was a difficult journey
Along a bumpy trail.
You tried your best to find the way
To let your goodness prevail.

It was with grief and sadness
That you took your life that day.
Now God has you in his keeping
And your pain has been washed away.

You found the peace you searched for
So desperately in life.
At last your soul is comforted
From the demons that caused such strife.

Although I miss you desperately
And wish you didn't leave.
I had no power to stop you
And now must simply grieve.

I hear your voice in the wind
And feel your touch in the sun.
You speak to me in gentle ways
And I know your day has come.

Submitted by Bev Bosma, TCF Qld, and Nico
In loving memory of her son, Daniel Good, in honour of his birthday on 9th October.

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In memory of
Michael
On the 20th Anniversary of his death 30/10/74-10/10/87

"Like a bird out of our hand,
Like a light out of our heart
You are gone-but always remembered."

Each year as the Jacarandas and Azaleas bloom again,
Their soft blooms gently falling in a profusion of colour
Reminding me of your life my son,
A brief thirteen years-that was all.

I remember the joy that you brought to my life.
My dearly longed for second son,
That bright October day you were born,
Our family complete and happiness won.

What a beautiful child you were from the start,
Your bright shining eyes full of glee
Your long eyelashes the envy of many,
A true joy to our family and me.

A rowdy, lively, active boy always on the go,
Mischief was your second name,
You grasped life with both your hands,
Without you Michael, life is just not the same.

Cricket and football were favourites of yours,
And Little Athletics a special pride,
You loved to read in the quiet times,
Your books opening many new worlds so wide.

You had such a very powerful love,
For all creatures great and small,
The smallest grasshopper-the biggest dog,
You cherished and nurtured them all.

For close to thirteen years you were part of our lives,
A loving son and younger brother,
What joy we shared in those happy years,
We remember you really were like no other.

When you went off on that wonderful adventure,
A great holiday way out in the West,
We were happy for you to discover,
New, exciting things that could put you to the test.

You rode horses, and even helicopters,
When the mustering was being done,
Made new friends, drove a car!
Your escapades brought you such a lot of fun.

Not for a single moment did we imagine what would be,
On the very day that your holiday was done!
When your life was suddenly ended,
And we lost you, our wonderful darling son.

Why did it have to happen so far from home?
We didn't get to say "Good-bye"
Or to hold you once more in our arms,
All we have now are our memories-and the tears that we cry

Michael, I know that you'll live on forever,
Beautiful memories can dull the pain,
But I know that I always look forward,
To that wonderful day when we meet once again.

With my heartfelt gratitude to our member, Carol Rizzalli,
who so eloquently and lovingly put the words of this poem
together for me in October '04.
I could never have done so myself,
although I did change a couple of lines and a word here and there.

Sent in by Marion Downey, TCF Qld


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Telling Our Story
By Rob Anderson, Sugar Grove, IL, 2006
“Living with Loss”, Fall 2006 www.livingwithloss.com,
Bereavement Publications, Inc.

As we speak our pain, we heal.
As we let out the poison, we share our heart.
Our tears are outlets for our screaming souls.
We need to share our suffering,
We hope you can stay with us.
Our healing can be found in your silence, your caring,
If you listen and not judge, hear and not advise,
We can heal and we will be grateful.
If you tell us how to be,
If you deflect our pain ...we will run.
Embrace us, Let us be as we are.
Do not be afraid, you have not caused our suffering.
But you can ease it with patience and understanding.
We don’t want you to know how we feel.
We want you to let us feel what we know.
Let us tell our story of sadness
And you will share our healing victories.
Let us tell our story of a broken life
And you will also hear the story
Of our children’s lives and...you will smile with us.

In loving memory of Nell Palmer, 26.9.84 to 19.2.02.
We love and miss you, Nell
Submitted by her parents, Jenny & Bill Palmer, TCF Qld

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For Mark Edgley
By Christine Behrens
In loving memory of her “Uncle” Mark

I miss you more with each passing day
You will never know how much you mean to me.
I never got to say good-bye
I never got to tell you how much I care
You’ll never know how much I love you
Or how much I wish you were here
I wish for your guidance
I wish for your wisdom
I wish that I could see you one last time just to say good-bye,
to make sure you know, that I’m thinking of you everyday without fail

If I had just one wish in this world today
It would be for you to come back and live another day.
The open wound, bandaged with love and care.
The pain, the loss, the anger, the warmth.
“Uncle” and “Niece” never closer
ALWAYS REMEMBERED
Visions of the past (always with me) just can’t and won’t subside.

The loss you feel
The pain you feel
The emptiness inside
Like a limb torn off
A giant void …..
That all important person gone.

Lovingly submitted by Lorraine Edgley, TCF Qld, in memory of her son, Mark, 30.11.61—28.8.98

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Nikita

Let love melt into memory and pain into songs
Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings, over the nest
Let the last touch of your hands, be gentle, like the flower of the night
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment
And say your last words in silence
We bow to you and hold up our lamps, to light you on your way…

By Tagore

I know there are girl angels, I see one every day.
She gives me a hug, and kisses my cheek and then she runs to play.
From her infectious smile, to her cute little knees,
She’s my sweet little angel, as sweet as you please’.

Anon.

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.
Missing you more than ever on your 3rd birthday.
Love Mummy and Daddy, XXXXOOOO

Lovingly submitted by Dale and Tiffany Pollard, TCF Qld,
In memory of their daughter, Nikita Pollard
Dale and Tiffany would like to invite you to visit Nikita’s
website http://web.aanet.com.au/nikitapollard/

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Honouring Jay
By Dennis Taber, TCF Qld
In loving memory of our son, Jay, 28 years old, but will live forever in our hearts.
Lovingly submitted by Chris & Dennis Taber, TCF Qld.

I remember those days,
On a bright sunny beach,
When happiness and joy,
Was within, easy reach.

There was no need to carry,
A bag full of toys,
To see the fun had,
By my two little boys.

Their innocence and their laughter,
Magnified by the sun.
The contentment I felt,
Watching my boys having fun.

But living entails,
More than life in the sun,
Now that school has replaced.
The beach and the fun.

Watching them toil,
With exams and their studies,
As they speed through their schooling,
With all sorts of buddies.

If only it were possible,
To stop the hands of time,
To be the centre of life,
For the two sons of mine.

Each year that passes,
Takes them further away,
From hearing their voices
Say, "Dad what's on today".

To realize that now,
You an observer to them,
No fatherly skills,
Can you offer again.

It seems like the passage,
Of time that's gone by,
Can be linked to that saying,
"But in the wink of an eye".

If God could grant me,
One wish, to come true,
I would stop life's clock
And there's one thing I'd do.

I'd hold on to my boys,
As children, not men,
This would avoid that old saying,
"All things come to an end".

The storage of memories,
I recall very clear,
It's used to replace,
The feeling of fear.

The feeling of fear,
The one felt every day,
For the love of my son,
Who was taken away.

Juggling the thoughts,
Of the good and the bad,
Of the happier times,
Replaced by the sad.

The task now at hand,
Is to honour our son,
With loving his brother,
With whom he had fun.

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Our Angel’s Whisper
By Jan Marie Gillis, TCF Qld
© copyright protected by Jan Marie Gillis, 30 May 2007.

The gentle breeze carries our Angel’s whisper to my ear
“Oh! Mummy and Daddy and Tammy please know that all your beautiful prayers, I hear”
“In Heaven, Grandma and Grandpa greeted me— they are so very kind”
“We can see the sadness and pain in the broken hearts of the people we left behind”

“And I left so suddenly and in such a tragic way”
“You wouldn’t have scolded me about my missing new shoe if you’d only known that it was to be my very last day”
“By the way the shoe is in the dog kennel, I knew you wouldn’t look there”
“Please, Oh! Please Mummy and Daddy and Tammy, please don’t think God isn’t fair!”
“I’m so sorry that we never had a chance to say our goodbyes”
“God welcomes every child through Heaven’s Gates and Oh! Please dry the tears cascading from your eyes”

Grandma said people often do and say many a silly thing”
“Grandma said people struggle to learn what sweet happiness the simple things in life often bring”
God’s helpers told Grandma that it’s usually very difficult for the families of “lost” loved ones to cope”
“So I’m sending you this Angel’s Whisper full of love and hope”
“Mummy, there’s no hatred, jealousy or spite and Daddy there’s no violence or war”
Grandpa says most people don’t learn to be kind and peaceful— not until they’ve come through Heaven’s door”

“Tammy, I’m so sorry that I was mean and my best toy cars you were not allowed to touch”
“Please Mummy and Daddy and Tammy, please know I’m safe and I love you and miss you very much”
I know that I’ll always remain in a special part of your heart”
“Our treasure of cherished memories will be our bond that joins us even though we are apart”

“Oh! My Angel Friends have come to play and we are going to slide down the colourful rainbows high above”
The gentle breeze carries our Angel’s Whisper and our hearts’ buds blossom into faith, hope and love.

© copyright protected by Jan Marie Gillis, 30 May 2007.

Jan Marie Gillis writes: “I was sitting and watching the leaves on the trees dance with the wind and this poem started ‘to form’ so I concentrated and wrote and ‘before too long’ I had a much longer version of this poem. Somehow, with difficulty, I managed to condense to a size which may be appropriate as a submission for Compassionate Friends to publish.”

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A new normal
By Daryl Hutso, 2006—TCF AtlantaSharing—TCF Atlantaon-line, 7 June 2007—
reprinted from Bereaved Parents USA website

I wanted my life to return to normal.
Then I realized what I wanted
Was for my life to return to what it once was.
A year ago I found hope one night
When I heard my wife and my
Youngest son laughing in our bedroom.
I thought my life was returning to normal.
I played cards with our youngest son after supper,
With much fun and laughter.
After a few cartoons,
He and my wife were off to bed.
It was then that I realized
My life was not returning
To the normal that it was
When Greg was alive,
But changing to a new normal.
I cannot return to what I once was,
Because all of the parts are
No longer there.
I have the choice, consciously,
And subconsciously
To carry on with my life,
Thus creating a new normal.
Hope lies in accepting what you now have
Looking with joy, not sorrow,
Looking ahead with optimism
Not pessimism.

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Why Didn’t The World Stop That Day?
By Kathleen Evans San Diego, California

In Memory Of Scott William Hatfield Smith
25.11.81-13.04.05

Why didn’t the world stop that day?
It seemed so disrespectful, that life should keep going,
Not missing a single beat, when Scott’s world
Stopped long enough for him to step off.

Even while we mourned his loss,
People bustled through shopping malls,
Shouted curses at befuddled drivers
On busy city streets,

And even laughed out loud -
As if they could enjoy themselves on this solemn day.
They filled shopping carts in grocery stores,
As if they could count on another day.

Spinning, Spinning,
The world keeps spinning,
Today, I’m dizzy from all the spinning.


Dearly loved son of Karen & Merv (Dec’d),
Special Daddy to gorgeous twins Matthew and Lachlan,
Brother to Cherie, very special friend to Rebecca, John and many,
Dearly loved Uncle, Nephew & Grandson.
Happy Birthday Scottie, there will always be a place in our hearts for you.
We love you DACKS & DACKS xxxx

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The Sleepless Night
By Christine Ross
In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979-2001

I work up early this morning,
Just as the sun was beginning to rise.
I reached out for my husband.
He wasn’t there, to my surprise.

I arose and went to the window.
On the porch was his shadowy form.
He was probably just reminiscing
In the misty veil of the dawn.

Silently I remained inside,
Hidden secretly from his sight.
Allowing him his solitude
Outside in the pale moonlight.

His silhouette took my breath away.
The eerie resemblance of our son.
The one that died many years ago,
Leaving us grieving and so alone.

Quiet tears began to fill my eyes
With memories of life and joy.
Longing once more for days gone by.
Wishing my husband still had his boy.

I pondered in the stillness
The pain this man should have been spared.
I wanted to go out and hug him
And tell him how much I cared.

I dared not disturb his reverie
Because I know how I cherish mine.
So I waited inside just watching him
As the clock ticked away the time.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder,
A whisper “You can’t sleep either, hun?”
I turned quickly away from the window.
Standing next to me was my husband.

So I gazed back out the window
The silhouette I had seen was gone.
Then my husband said “It’s okay sweetie,
He’s been out there all night long.”

Living With Loss Magazine, Bereavement Publications, Summer 2007

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Friendship and Pain

Your friendship means so much to me.
But there are times when I can see
My pain is overwhelming you,
In ways that don’t allow you to
Give of yourself when I feel weak.
Perhaps there’s more you think I seek.
It’s not your strength I’m looking for,
Just your love, and nothing more.

Julia Chance Gustafson, Wooster, OH “Living with Loss”, Bereavement Publ Spring 2007



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Time turns and at your doorstep waits another Christmas and another year . . .
Time sings a gentle song for you to hear;
“Let there be Christmas now, invite the coming year,
what you have loved is always near.”

Sascha

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